Tips, Tricks & Advice For Mental Health During The Back-To-School Period
The back-to-school season often causes a lot of stress because of the many 'unknowns' surrounding it. Some common questions kids have include:
- What will the new school year be like?
- Will the classes be hard?
- Am I prepared?
- Will I be able to juggle all of my responsibilities this year?
- What will my teachers and classmates be like?
- Will I fit in?
The questions that parents have are often similar, with the addition of things like:
- Will my child/children be happy in school this year?
- Will they do well?
- Did I do enough to prepare them?
- How will they manage the change?
For Your Child/Children
Pay attention. Look out for signs of mental health concerns like these:
Body
- Changes in appetite
- Shifts in energy (fatigue, taking long naps every day)
- Difficulty sleeping
- Headaches, stomachaches, nausea, or other aches or pains
- Feeling jittery, or needing to move constantly
- Not taking care of themselves (personal hygiene, wearing dirty clothes etc)
Mind
- Irritability, feeling down, or other changes in mood
- Feeling anxious, or worrying about typical daily activities
- Trouble breathing, or new nervous habits/behaviors
- Avoiding responsibilities
- Trouble thinking clearly, or having communication issues
- Feeling defeated or hopeless
School & Friends
- Change in academic performance or attitudes toward school
- Signs that your child is being bullied or is bullying others
- Wanting to stay home from school more often
- Isolating themselves, feeling lonely, or less interest in friends
- Less interest in activities or friends they used to enjoy
Sometimes clues that your child is dealing with back to school stress can be sneaky, so try to pay close attention to changes. The more they’re dealing with, the more tools you’ll want to use from the following list.
If your child talks about or shows signs of self-harm or suicidal thoughts, Call the samaritans helpline on 116 123 (free from any phone). Alternatively you can text 'SHOUT' to 85258. If there is an immediate safety concern, call 999 or go to the nearest A&E.
Actively support your child’s mental wellbeing! Don’t wait for the problem to get so big that it’s unmanageable.
Use the tools below to support your child during the back-to-school time even if they only seem a little nervous.
- Talk it out - Engage in discussion about what is worrying your child/children about returning. Only AFTER that and fully justifying their feelings, you might ask/help them to to consider some of the positive effects of returning to school.
- Use teamwork - Engage in a collaborative process with your child/children around managing the stress of going back. Ask them what they think would be helpful to address their fears and/or discomforts.
- Get creative - Consider other ways of creating a supportive environment for your child/children to discuss their back-to-school stress. Depending on the age of your child/children, maybe writing, drawing, making/listening to music, using crafts like paint and clay, or even toys/stuffed animals to express feelings would be less intimidating than just talking.
- Enlist others - If your child/children are having a tough time, reach out to their teacher or support at school so they can get further help at school. Explain to your child/children why you're doing this so it doesn't surprise them.
- Create fun to look forward to - Plan an after school or weekend activity for the first month of school the your child/children can look forward to with excitement. This will make the back-to-school adjustment not feel like the only thing in their life/lives right now.
- Plan ahead - run through with your child how the days will look and the details of their schedules. Do this with craft projects like drawing and painting if it helps.
Conversation Starters
Below are some specific things you can say to start the conversation about back-to-school stress. Be sure to adapt these to an age-appropriate level for your child:
- How are you feeling about going back to school?
- It's okay if going back to school feels hard this year, it would be hard for me too.
- What feels hard about going back to school? What feels exciting? It's normal to have different feelings about the same thing.
- I've noticed you haven't liked talking about going back to school (or other behaviours you've seen that shows they are nervous). That's okay. If you want to talk about it, I'm here.
- It's okay to ask for help, you can always ask me.
For yourself
Pay attention. Look out for mental health concerns in yourself. This will help you take better care of yourself so that you can also better support your child/children during this time.
Body
- Low energy
- Feeling distant, foggy, cloudy, or not like yourself
- Feeling fearful about your child attending school
- Difficulty sleeping
- Changes in appetite
- Body aches, headaches, tension, nausea, or chest pain
Mind
- Feeling down or sad most of the day
- Feeling irritated, worried, or preoccupied by back-to-school tasks
- Trouble concentrating
- Difficulty making decisions
- Lack of interest in activities you typically enjoy
- Guilt or shame about how you are filling your roles (e.g., parent, partner, friend, colleague)
Try some of the tools below to support yourself during your child/children's back-to-school period.
Get organised - Create two lists - one for your worries related to back to school (to address your emotional needs) and one for your to-dos to get your child/children ready for going back to school (to address your practical needs).
Put things into perspective - Remind yourself that your child has done difficult things before, and so have you. You'll both be able to get through this adjustment. You can also consider specific coping strategies you've used in difficult situations previously and apply them here. Chances are what's been helpful before will be helpful again today.
Take care of yourself - Be purposeful about taking time for your own self care. You might feel pressured to support your child as much as possible, and while that is important, you can only do that if you're well taken care of. Thinking of 3 different ways to engage with self-care this week and physically writing them on the calendar can ensure they don't get put on a back burner.
Don't go it alone - Reach out to friends and family for support. This can be a tough time for not only children but parents as well.
Reminder
The back-to-school time, although it can cause stress, also provides a unique opportunity for growth. Periods of newness allow you to do things in a new and improved way. This is a good time to create healthy habits for both physical and mental wellbeing. For example, if you’re not used to checking in on your child’s mental health, this could be the time to start. Take the back-to-school time as an opportunity to bond, connect, and support your child through this change.